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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  February 23, 2012 6:00pm-6:30pm PST

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what?! son of a bitch! -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com captions paid for by mtv networks >> february 22, 2012, from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the "daily show" with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the "daily show." my name is jon stewart.
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my guest tonight, mild-mannered economist bruce bartlett. you know him as the incredible hulk. bruce banner. i apologize. now dionne warwick is veryangary. folks, tonight in arizona as we speak, before remaining republican presidential candidates met in the pe penultimate debate of this election season, tonight, two of them were card off by banditos anosand one was swallowed by a snake. i don't know which one. ( applause ) actually we do. i believe that's clearly newt gingrich's head. actually, i don't know if that's what happened at the debate we taped before the ca debate. but i do know this-- note matter what issues they discussed, whether satan's influence on the decare of our culture, or how
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satan recently jacked the price of gas up, or how satan decided this would be the last season of "chuck." i assuma that was satan because who else would cancel "chuck." this election of 2012 is all that stands between america andicaa taft fee, just as we were warned, the consequences in 2008 could be dire. >> if mr. obama should become presidentish really believe it will be hard to stop the economy from being socialized. >socialized. >> jon: socialized economy! if obama was elected in 2008. we were warned. and, indeed, barack obama did take billions of taxpayer dollars and redistribute them... to the banks. ( laughter ) so it's kind of socialism, in a dyslexic... ( laughter ) and what of our enemies abroad? >> i will tell you if he is elected president, then the
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radical islamists, the al qaeda and the radical islamists and their supporters, will be dancing in the streets. >> jon: talk about-- talk about hitting the nail on the head. if you were to replace the word "dancing" with the phrase, "donnelling unmanned drone missiles raining hell fire from the sky." so two for two. ( applause ) and by the way, in 2008, there would have been nothing... ( laughter ) allah we did was add a ( bleep ). in 2008, there would have been nothing you could do to defend yourself against the socialist islamist takeover because the dictator had thought things through. >> if either senator clinton or senator obama is elected president, the rights of
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law-abiding gun owners will be at risk, my friends, and have no doubt about it. >> jon: no doubt about it! ( laughter ) and while the only second amendment measures obama ended up signing allowed citizens to carry concealed weapons into national parks and on to amtrak trains, which makes sense-- ( laughter ) because who better to be armed than angry late people in confined spaces? the point is, even though obama has not taken your guns, in hindsight, there is no doubt that he has... ( laughter ) see, it appears barack obama has failed to keep many of the campaign promises that his opponents made for him. ( laughter ) including, the incredibly specific ones-- >> he's going to have an effort to eliminate freedom of speech
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for rush limbaugh and sean hannity. ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) >> jon: it's a shame that newt gingrich never got to live to see that dream realized because as we said tonight, in arizona, newt gingrich swallowed whole by what any observer would consider to be a very ambeshes snake. ( laughter ) ( applause ) tragedy, really. but by now, we've pretty much seen-- that was all in 2008. a lot of fear mongering, a lot of dooms sayers but by now we've pretty much seen obama's first term. it looks like conservatives got a little bit kicked in the crystal balls by this one. you might not be thrilled with obama's results, but, clearly, it's not been the citizen-disarming al qaeda-coddling-limbaugh-
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muzzl al qaeda-coddling-limbaugh-muzzl ingica taft-( bleep ) that the republican soothsayers were predicting in 2008. what do you do in 2012? what will be the republicans' rhetorical strategy this time around? >> he will wage war on the catholic church the morning after he's re-elected. ( laughter ). ( applause ) yes, november 3, 2012, right after the president-elect enjoys a victory omlet, the catholic church will be attacked. >> if barack obama gets re-elected it will be a disaster for the united states of america. >> if president obama is re-elected, you will not be able to get a job. >> we simply will step into this susum airarraian night of europn socialism. >> america will not be the land that believes in free people and prix enterprise. >> if we re-elect barack obama, iran will have a nuclear weapon. >> there is no future, there is no hope with president obama
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having a second term. >> you're already dead, everybody! you, you're dead, already! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: i think that last one would be a great candidate to put up against mitt romney. you all have lost your damn minds! if obama hasn't been able to pull any of ( bleep ) off after three years of his actual presidency, what do you think he's waiting for? >> imagine a second term if he doesn't have to face reelection. >> you can't imagine how radical he'll be in his second term. >> we see the president's strategy crystal clear-- get re-elected, and with no more elections to worry about, get busy dismantling and destroying our firearms freedom. it's all part of a massive obama conspiracy to deceive voters and hide his true intentions to destroy the second amendment. >> jon: so the whole first
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term is just laying the trap. ( laughter ). it's a long con. everybody obama has done in his first term is just a cunard so he can do the opposite in his second term? ( laughter ) obama deported more illegal immigrants per year than president bush did, so that the illegal immigrants could rest up in their native land for the second term invasion? ( laughter ) barack obama killed bin laden and dumped his body into the ocean to lull us into complacency so we're unaware that a zombie bin laden is now hard at work on the ocean floor preparing aa terrorist lobster army? ( laughter ) that will use your confiscated weapons to take down the vatican on november 3? ( laughter ) there's only one safe place, people. ( laughter ) the belly of the snake.
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we'll be right back.
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( cheers and applause ) displon welcome back. >> jon: welcome back. it is february.
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when a young man's fancy lightly turns to the trillions of germs that surround him every moment. time for our latest installment of "hypochondriac update, "brought to you by fear. ( laughter ). fear it's-- what was that! we begin tonight in the world of viruses. >> aa muitate bird flu that is particularly menacing because it can be passed between humans. >> jon: everybody back! everybody back! ( laughter ) keep away from me! you guys have bird flu! i can taste it on you! and it tastes something like chicken. don't worry, this is a purele rifle. it shoots high-powered purele. and my tbes is i am not-- guess is i am not holding this in a particularly necessary fashion. ( laughter ) keep it together, stewart.
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keep acting throughout this bit. ( laughter ). this happens all the time, right? nothing to worry about. nature creates genetic mutations and viruses all the time. it's a random thing, very unlikely to be replicated. >> scientists here engineered the new virus by manipulating just a few genes. all sides agree the mutated bird flu virus created by scientists in rotterdam could kill millions if it gets out. >> jon: two things. one, we made this? and, two, if it gets out? ( laughter ) it will get out. let me tell play a little keep out you for the morning. with with the mann in this mosquito, we can bring back dinosaurs. isn't there a chance of break free and become killing machines? no i installed locks and electricity.
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( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) isn't there any way we can protect ourselves from this doomsday virus? >> international public health officials say the best way to-- >> laminate your skin so the germs can't get in, nobody touch anybody again, and everybody live inside over-sized hampster balls, and i mean the plastic ones, not actual hamp sters' balls that-- why don't i let the man finish his report. >> internal health officials say the best way to protect the public is release the research. >> the world health organization will release full details now of two studies on the bird flu. >> jon: what? wait, what? release the research on how you
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mutated the bird flu virus to us? have you met us? ( laughter ) we can't be trusted with that information. we can't be trusted with an electrical outlet and a fork. you know why there are little pacpactets of silicon gels this that come with your shoes say, "do not eat on them," because we would eat them. to be fair the information was going to get out soonerrer later. you know if they tried to keep the information secret it would have wound up on wikibeaks, the wikileaks equivalent run by penguin assange. ( applause ) that really felt more like pity than anything else? ( laughter ) come on! releasing the information on how you mutated that virus to the public? what do security experts think of this? >> security experts say it is
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crazy to let these secrets get into the hands of terrorists. >> i agree with people that say it's not likely that a terrorist could actually use this to create a pandemic, but not likely is not impossible. >> jon: harris terrorists, i ( bleep ) didn't think of that. terrorists? and not likely? people said it wasn't likely that malcolm in the middle's dad would build a republican empire out of an r.v. and a bottle of sudafed. but look what he did. even if terrorists never manage to weaponnize the bird flu, that doesn't mean it couldn't eventually make the leap to humans. i even know how it's going to happen. the man who could start the next bird flu pandemic, patient zero, if you will. >> it takes a tough man to make a tender forecast, nick. keep ( bleep ) that chicken. >> okay, i'll do that. >> all right. ( applause ) >> jon: you see the face she's making?
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he just gave her the bird flu. that's how easy.
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, he is a columnist for the economic blog of the "new york times." his new book is called, "the benefit and the burden, tax reform why we need it and what it will take." please welcome back to the show, bruce bartlett. ( cheers and applause )
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welcome back. >> happy to be here. gloan now, the benefit and the burden tax reform. dwriewr here on a red-letter day. the president oat very day you're calling for tax reform has announced he would like to cut the corporate tax rate in this country from 35% to 28%, close some loopholes and do a fee for any company in america that does their business overseas. what's your feeling about those prescriptions? >> well, it sounds, you know, like a move in the right direction, but i noticed, also, one of the things the president wants to do is have an extra-special low rate of 25% just for manufacturing companies. and i think that that moves in the opposite direction of trying to treat all businesses equally, and moves us in the opposite direction of reform. >> jon: now you worked with ronald reagan during the days of his heyday, and you say-- what
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do you, reagan would do thisn this situation? in your mind what, does he do in this situation? >> well, we know what ronald reagan did because he did it in 1986. he had a big study done by the treasury department and they made a lot of recommendations and sent them to capitol hill and they discussed it and they ended up lowering the top tax rate from 50% to 28% but among other things he raised the capital gains rate from 20% to 28% because ronald reagan said he ought to treat capital gains, income from capital, the same as labor, and i think that's an idea that is really pretty off the table today. >> jon: so would ronald reagan be too liberal for today's republican party in terms of financial policy? >> i don't think there's any questions qe. everybody forgets although he cut taxes his first year he raise the them almost every other year of his presidency, 11 different times. >> jon: because he was-- and i think we boast admit now-- a communist ( laughter ) i mean, we would both agree--
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how is it that one of the biggest obstacles to tax reform in this country is a group called americans for tax reform? >> that's a very interesting question. gloan i know! >> it's run by a friend of mine named grover norquist, and the thing is it doesn't do anything that has to do with tax reform. they support every single special tax deal that anybody ever proposes, especially if you're a republican, slopgz it lowers taxes. they say that's okay. loopholes, anything that's a loophole is fine with them, as long as it lowers taxes. but once the loophole gets put in, you cannot ever take it out again because that's a tax increase. i think this is just ludicrous. >> jon: and the rhetoric is so competing, there's this rhetoric of we have a terrible debt and deficit problem in this country. it is unmessengerrable. unmanageable. it has put our children and grandchildren's children into slavery. they will be starring in the indiana jones movie.
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and, yet, the tax bite in this country is the lowest it's been, especially for the upper income groups, since the 1950s. >> that's exactly correct. taxes as awe share of the g.d.p., have not been-- are at the loeft they've been in my lift, and, obviously, i'm not such a young guy. >> jon: stop it! stop it! ( laughter ) you say that to get anything done, the democrats will need to gain courage and the republicans will need to gain the ability to compromise. besides from being the worst plot of a "wizard of oz" spin-off that i've ever heard, what is the like hood-- likelihood that democrats will gain courage and republicans will gain compromise? ( laughter ) ( sighs ) ( laughter ) you're speechless! you're speechless! because this is-- ( applause )
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you cannot read this book without think ago almost at every page, "oh, yeah, that makes sense. oh, yeah, that sounds right." and it doesn't seem that plymouth countied. >> it's not. the problem is purely political. you have, frankly, one of our political parties is insane. and we all know which one it is. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> jon: and this by the way coming from someone who as i mentioned earlier worked with ronald reagan. the idea then, they have all given the prescription 999, flat tax, the president-- mitt romney came out today in fact and side he wants to drop the-- not the corporate rate but the marginal tax rate on high-earning individual down to 28%. so he's saying oh, i see the problem here. rich people paying too much. let me take care of that. who does that appeal to? what is that even politically aimed at? >> it doesn't make any logical sense. you can only interpret it within
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the dynamics of the republican party where they just-- it's essential a plutocracy. they just worship the rich. they believe-- they don't even call them the rich. they call them the job creators and entrepreneurs. any euphemism-- it's like with sex-- there are 10 zillion different words for these things-- >> jon: i got to be honest with you, not sure how you segued that. ( laughter ) ( applause ). >> jon: when-- when you're an economist, you can do that because for me, tax reform request the it's like sex." no, really-- but you've done an excellent job there. will the democrats have the ability to, because they also represent so many varied interests, streamline the tax code in that manner, too? can they put forward something simple like this? >> no, because we-- they need to compromise. because the republicans will filibuster anything they don't like, and it's very likely they may get control of the senate this year, too. >too.
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>> jon: without republican opposition would the democrats do that? do you have faith in their ability to manage that without even opposition? >> no, i think the big problem-- ( laughter ) the big problem i have the democrats is they don't have the courage of their own convictions. the republicans treat them like dirt, and they never fight back. they don't do anything. ( applause ) >> jon: there's going to be a reckoning. it's going to get to such a ridiculous place that those two parties are going to fracture and something new will come in, a cold rain is-- no? ( laughter ) you're thinking with sex again, aren't you! son of a gun! ( applause ) you've got to get this. you'll read it and get mad, which is good. "the benefit and the burden" on the bookshelves
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